Because it’s been too long

Hi! Remember me? Camera Latte? That super fun blog with tons of cute photos of Little Lue and random ramblings about my mommy days? Yeah… Hi…

Somewhere mid pregnancy I cracked. Totally cracked.

I’m going to be honest, this move has been hard on me, us. The wonderful sunny days in Key West still call my name. Lucy still asks to “Go home” most days when we are about to get in the car, deep down I know where she means. Lately she’s been asking about the ocean and how she can’t wait to see it. I have no idea where she gets it from it’s obvious to me she misses her old home too.

On top of that the past 6 months have been riddled with uncertainty and confusion as we explored a change in our lives that never materialized. And in the mist of all that, TDYs and deployments have been scheduled, and all you Significant Others know how that goes…

So somewhere between getting ready for a new baby, still getting used to living in a new place, random life stress, and then actually giving birth, I set my camera down and stopped taking pictures.

I stopped running. I stopped writing. I stopped reading. Just stopped.

And in the chaos of meeting our new daughter, Princess P, I just felt lost. With her amazing loving gaze the only thing keeping me together.

It’s been over 2 months since she was born and the smoke is starting to clear. I’ve laced up my running shoes a few times, dusted off my camera longingly, and tried several times to write something half way coherent. But I’m still not quite there yet, I still don’t feel like myself.

I’ve been blaming hormones for my emotional roller coaster, but the truth is that this year has been packed full of stress, and it’s still just the tip of the iceberg for us.

So no, I haven’t taken very many photos. And no, I haven’t quite been my cheerful self. But I’m here, chugging along, waking up every day looking for that change in the winds.

Little Lue is amazing, she’s changing so much and so quickly. She’s 3 years old now?! Can you believe it?! And my littlest Princess P is incredible, just perfect. They both truly are my  little rainbows over these past stormy months.

So… A tad melancholy today, and no photos… But that’s ok. Sometimes this is all I’ve got.

Anyone else having a rocky 2014?

5 Comments on Because it’s been too long

  1. Lauren
    July 26, 2014 at 1:00 pm (3 years ago)

    It’s good to hear your blogging voice again!

    Reply
    • LilianaB
      August 14, 2014 at 5:52 pm (3 years ago)

      Every time I read your blog I get more motivated to start writing again 😛 Thank you <3

      Reply
      • Lauren
        August 14, 2014 at 9:37 pm (3 years ago)

        Woohoo! I’m glad someone else enjoys reading it. And I don’t know why my blog link is showing up at the bottom of my comment. I put it in the “website” box. Unintentional shameless self promotion, lol.

        Reply
  2. Laila
    July 26, 2014 at 1:20 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh Lilliana! I’m so sorry you’ve had a rough transition. If I had a blog (and had any artistic leaning) this could be a page right from my year. Moving away from Key West has been tough on us too. Isolation from old friends, routines and the introduction of winter. We just weren’t prepared. That mixed with baby hormones, deployment and toddler life is so much to handle. I pray each day you find that glimpse of change and feel more yourself. I’m sure taking more time to be you again instead of mommy and wife will be that step. ❤️❤️❤️

    Reply
    • LilianaB
      August 14, 2014 at 5:52 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you so much for your thoughts. I’m sorry you have been having a rough time yourself! I hope things improve! Key West was too good to us. I think so many of us new moms bonded so much there, sharing such a special new part of our lives. It’s hard to match that type of special time to make new friends…

      I’m happy to say that we have had a lot of wonderfully positive news this past week and I definitely feel those winds of change finally hitting us! Thank goodness :)

      Reply

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